….A phrase that anyone with kids would have heard time and time again I have no doubt ! However , its a phrase I don’t hear very often from the twins as they are well known for being adventurous in their choices of cuisine … well they will eat more or less most of whats put in front of them anyhow !
On this particular day they had requested boiled egg and soldiers for their lunch ! Not a problem ! Whammo … pan out , water swooshing , fresh from the farm eggs on the boil …… toast toasting ( with a dubious burning smell accompanying it .. must clean out my crumb tray ! ) … what could be simpler ? Life was sweet !!! I was pretty certain that this was one meal where all the plates would be cleared …. so certain in fact that I whisked up some scrambled eggs at the same time for my own consumption ( seasoned with lemon & chipotle sea salt … beeeaaaautiful)
I plated the eggs and presented them a with a flourish and watched on with a great swirl of Mothers pride (mine not the bread ….) as the boys proceeded to bash poor old Humpty’s head in ( I may be proud of them but they are still mini hoodlums …) …. ! I’m pretty confident in my cooking skills and my ability to feed my kids so as I settled down to my eggy feast I was horrified to hear a sob eminating from little Frankie …. I rushed to his aid and wiped away his tears … “Whats wrong little Spud ?” I asked with the concern of a mother who’s lamb had been injured ….. the reply sent a cold icy arrow through my heart ” I am NOT eating that .. I am not … ” Gasp … shock .. I reeled away from the table ! What could possibly be wrong ? was it the soldiers ? Too fat ? Too thin ? Not enough delicious dripping butter ???” Whyever not? ” I eventually asked as I regained my composure …
“IT’S NOT RUNNY !!!! DADDY MAKES RUNNY EGGS ….. I won’t eat it ! I want Daddy’s eggs ”
This was the most horrifying and sad thing he could possibly have said ! Wounded … wounded …..flop onto the sofa and hold my head is dismay !!! Now you’d think seeing my reaction .. that the boys would rally round and at least try to eat this egg .. this freshly laid egg .. this egg prepared with such love and the knowledge of a mother feeding her young sons .. giving them the best ! NO ! Teddy joins in the wailing … ” I want a biscuit ! Can we go to the shops ?? Daddy makes better humpty eggs .. runny humpty eggs …” Treacherous traitorous brood of mine ….lol !
I jest ! I love them unconditionally ….however I was cut to the quick ! It seems I can bake the bestset cakes ever (TED) I make the yummiest dinners ever (Frank) My Mum is the most amazing cook ever (Bill) and “Thank you Darling that was fantastic ” (Chris … oi minds out the gutter … he was talking about my food) yet I CAN’T BOIL AN EGG !!!!!
I am going now to lick my wounds and read a recipe book …. How to Boil an Egg …. 5 easy steps ….